My husband here in front of me wants me to start this blog with “and with a glass of vodka here, I sit and type” and we laugh about it. The glass of vodka by my side is true. Somedays, on vacation, only vodka can fix your problems. We are laughing at each other as I continue to type. Stay with me and let me explain.
I’ll start with my perfect day. We woke up when we wanted to. It happened to be 8:30am, but I was wide awake and thought, why not? I was too lazy to make it down to breakfast and besides we hadn’t used our butler service for breakfast yet. I called our butler to order our breakfast. We realized that the strawberry crepe on our breakfast menu was not served at the buffet where we normally have our breakfast and so started the perfect day.
We considered going out to tennis, but time passed by and I missed my tennis lesson. Oh well. We finally felt energized to do something. Perhaps all our days of nothing has finally rejuvenated us. So, we got into our swim wear, lathered on the sunblock and off we set to the water sports area. We started off with the kayak. I wanted to go past the cliffs, but my non-adventureous, level-headed husband advised against going past the view of the people at the resort. Last time we went so far out in Negril, Jamaica, they sent a boat out for us, but my husband did not want to chance it. Besides Kayaking is work. So, we turned right back and headed into shore. The waves were choppy, but it was still a lot of fun.
We got to the shore and decided to hop out of the Kayak and hop immediately onto a hobie cat. With my husband steering and working the sails, I just had to enjoy the day out sailing. It was fun, feeling the salty sea breeze blow against you and the water making splashes onto the hobie cat. We returned and this time we were feeling a bit tired.
We grabbed a couple of beach chairs in the shade and I called out to our butler. “Can you please bring us 2 drinks by the swimming beach?” Of course, he took our order and my order of lime/salt/soda had raised eyebrows yet again. Garvey was a new butler to us and hadn’t heard me order this drink before. Don’t know where Sherman or Gilbert was, but once again, I had to explain the recipe for the drink. “Squeeze a whole lime in the glass, add sparkling water or soda, then add a 1/2 tsp of salt, stir” And I left my phone on the chair and off we went into the beach. The water was very pleasant. The sun was hot and being in the water was quite refreshing. We frolicked about, jumping the waves, like little kids and just had a great time as we kept our eye out for the butler to get our drinks.
Soon, we were all beached out and our drinks were ready. So, we got to the shade and sat there, looking out at the beach. I had my Kindle with me and I decided to read as my husband just sat there, relaxing. Oh, I must mention that the drink order was the most perfect it has been yet. I mentioned it to my husband that most people had trouble making my detailed drink but this butler had nailed it. And so we relaxed and when we were done, we decided to head to lunch and that’s when the perfect day turned not so perfect.
I normally carry my bag and place it on the table, but today I placed it on the floor. We were well into dessert when the man behind me said, “that cat peed in your bag”. I guess cats don’t rain on your parade, they pee on them! I think as I was too busy sinking my teeth into the most delectable eclair, a tabby had peed into my favorite beach bag. It had my matching hat and purse in it. My camera was in the bag and so was my Kindle. My Columbia hat which was on top took the brunt of the pee. The other guest who told me about it, saw it too late because just when he noticed it, the cat was done with his/her business. The other guests felt bad for me, but I smiled and said, “life happens” although secretly I wished I had a bb gun for that damned cat.
I returned back to our room, but did not enter. I left my bag outside and called my butler and explained the situation and that I needed my stuff laundered. My Kindle was in a tiny cloth sack that was wet. I took the Kindle out. And there were a few drops on my camera. I brought the camera back in to the room. We put all the other stuff into a laundry bag (with the exception of the room key card, my credit card, cash and the butler phone) and first things first, I had to take a shower. When I was refreshed and could think clearly about how to kill the cat, no, just joking, about how to clean my camera and the Kindle, I came down with some Q tips. One of the Q tips was dipped in water, as the pee had dried by now. So, I gently cleaned my camera and wiped it off. My husband asked me what I was using to clean the camera. I said, “water.” He said, “You know what might work better? Alcohol!” As alcoholically clueless as I am, I asked if beer would do the trick. I use it on my hair, so it must be fine, right? My husband said, no and then said, “you know what? Vodka would work! It’s all alcohol and water” OK. If he said so, I thought great. So, while I went up for more Q tips, he poured me a small glass of vodka. I kept trying to wipe my Kindle with the vodka and a Q tip and the Q tip kept coming back yellow! So, finally several Q tips later, I went upstairs and grabbed some toilet paper and wiped down the Kindle with Vodka and dry toilet paper. I did this twice, til there was no more yellow pulling up from the Kindle. On the bright side, I don’t think my Kindle has ever been so clean.
And now, after all the cleaning with Vodka, I sit here, with the glass of the remaining Vodka on the table and I write this blog about how a darned cat can ruin your day. I must mention that there is an advantage to being in an all inclusive facility even if you don’t drink. Alcohol is always available to you, if not to consume! I would like to think that I’m the first guest who has had to clean their Kindle and Camera with vodka, but I still think it makes a great blog. So here you have it. A perfect day and a cat!
Til next time,