Sometimes in life, one sits back and reflects on all the people in their life. People who come and go. People who stay. Family. And then I thought about my relationship with everyone and why I chose to keep the relationship the way it was. Did I need to attend to some relationships more? As I was going through the list, the word “Oklahoma” came to mind. Who’s in Oklahoma? My brother! No one important!!! Right? For those of you who don’t get my sarcasm, I’ll spell it out to you. I am joking. Anyway, then I thought about the last time I visited his home. 3 years ago! This part I’m being serious about. It has been 3 years. I feel bad about it. I couldn’t find time to visit his home in the last 3 years? Did I even try?
So, I put Oklahoma on my important list and called my sister in law and told her I was visiting. We discussed possible dates and decided on a date coming up. I felt good about it. I did the right thing. Then I got around to thinking some more. My sister in law hosts me every time I visit and she takes really good care of me. She cooks dishes that I enjoy. She makes me feel important and makes sure I’m doing OK. I remember the times she used to buy Dove bars (the ice cream) for me because that was my favorite. Funny thing. She has given openly and has never asked me for anything in return. What have I done for her? Nothing. I am embarrassed to say it, but nothing. Then the miserable truth sunk in. I haven’t even bought her a gift. Ever. In the past 20 years, I may have bought her something small. Doesn’t she deserve more? Doesn’t someone who goes out of their way to make me feel welcome at her home, deserve a nice gift?
Then I think about what she would like. My sister in law loves purses. Loves, Purses. So, I decided I would get her a nice purse. Something special. The purse hunt began and I found out that she’s quite picky about her purses. How do you buy a purse for someone who loves purses and is picky about them? I asked my niece to help me. We had an iron clad plan. If I were to text my sister in law that I was buying a purse for myself and send her pictures of options, she may find a purse that she liked and then I could buy it for her. Not so easy. I tried that. I could tell at the choices that she was picking a purse for me. She was thinking about me. Yet again. She wasn’t thinking, “Purses. I would like that!” So, the purse hunt did not go so well. It ended up that I turned into a girl while shopping for her purse. I ended up with 2 sweaters, one top and 2 sweater dresses, like any other irresponsible woman who goes shopping. And no purses. It is true that women walk in to a lot of stores to just “shop” and don’t return with what they came in there for in the first place. Oh well.
I called my sister in law later that evening and explained that my try at buying her a surprise purse failed royally. She said that the thought I wanted to buy her a purse made her feel like I already bought her one. She seemed really happy about it. Then she focused on me again. She said that I had to buy a purse for myself. She wanted me to look good. What can I say? We’ll see how it all turns out in Oklahoma this weekend but I think it’s important to look at one’s life and re-evaluate.
Maybe there was a time I was upset with her. I think so. I think I felt she didn’t understand me or what I was going through. Maybe she didn’t. But that was so long ago. So so so long ago. What are relationships worth? Which ones are worth keeping and which ones do I let go of? I’m not saying she is my best friend or anything, but she is most certainly worthy of my friendship.
Those are my thoughts for this morning. Have a great rest of the week.