The introvert disguised as an extrovert!

by | Dec 22, 2014 | Shahnaz Blog (Previously They Throw Rocks)

Most people who have known me would say I were an extrovert.  So much so that I would say so myself.  Why not?  I love being with people and being at family parties and having a gala time.  A year ago, I was tested.  I did the Myers-Brigg.  I had to answer a series of questions and then I had a trained MB coach to go over my results.  I don’t recall the other categories, but I clearly remember the E or the I.  I was an introvert.

My coach asked me if I felt the results were accurate.  I stated that the other categories seemed correct.  I was convinced, however, that I was an extrovert and the results were wrong!  She told me that the results are just a marker and that is why we had the interview to decide on whether I was what the test result came out to be.

She asked me why I felt I was an extrovert.  I explained about how I loved to be around people and how loud I was and how I was the life of the parties with my family.  Clearly, I was an extrovert and the results were wrong.  She listened and told me that when people take the test, they fall on a scale.  Say 1 – 10, where if they were say 7 and above, they would be an extrovert, 3 and below an introvert and a 3 to 7 would be a range where they could be either.  It’s the center of both.  I’m just mentioning it for sake of explanation.  Yes, there’s a scale in MB but it’s a range.  It’s not a definitive number like I talked about.  She explained to me that I was not in the center range.  She stated that I was very much preferentially an introvert.  She said that based on the tests, I was not even close to being an extrovert.

That blew my mind and deflated my balloon at the same time, if it’s possible.  One, I was confused about the results.  Two, deep down I have been told over and over that I was an extrovert, I identified with it.  I felt like I did not want to be one of “those” people.  Not one of those introverts!  Being an introvert, was a bad thing in my book.  Introverts are socially inept and are loners, or so I felt.

I continued to talk to her and she asked me not to freak out.  We could discuss this further.  She asked me more questions.  I don’t totally recall the questions she asked me but the way I understood it was totally different from what I had known.  It all boiled down to energy.  Where an introvert and an extrovert gets their energy?  When asked what I preferred to do when I was very tired, I said, I would like to sit in silence and either read or write a book with a cup of tea.  She said, “there you go!  introvert!”  Huh?  She said it wasn’t a person’s ability to be with people that made someone an introvert or an extrovert, it’s a matter of where one gets their energy.  Is it from hanging out with a lot of people or is it from being with very few people?

I understand myself better now.  I understand my frustration in meeting a lot of new people all at the same time.  I understand my stress of having to perform like I’m an extrovert when I’m really an introvert.  I understand why I dissect movies and stories and tend to be philosophical.  I used to feel something was wrong with me.  Friends would tell me to let the movie go.  It was just a  movie.  No!  It was more to me.  I had to process it for long periods of time and there was nothing wrong with that.

Funny, recently I took up knitting.  I sit at home and in the silence just knit.  I do not have the TV on, I do not have music on.  I just sit there and knit.  As an extrovert I would have thought myself crazy.  I’m embracing my introverted side and it’s great to learn more about oneself.  Haha!  Why do I enjoy sitting here and blogging and would do it when I’m super tired?  Introvert, for sure!

I know I haven’t written in a while and now you guys are being inundated with blogs.  It’s just that I’ve been busy and my extrovert side was getting an exercise and now I’m taking a break from it.  Back to being myself for a bit.

Best always,


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