The Motherhood conundrum – adult conversations.

by | May 13, 2017 | Shahnaz Blog (Previously They Throw Rocks)

This one has been a draft (for months) and it’s amazing with drafts, when I come back to them.  I wonder why they are still in draft mode.  What am I missing?  Anyway, as I read this, I realized that tomorrow is Mother’s day.  Wow.  What a coincidence that I read this draft today and can post today and it’s quite appropriate for Mother’s Day?  Maybe it was meant to be!  Enjoy… and HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all moms out there.

I am not a mother.  Being a pediatric dentist, however, I get the unique opportunity to talk to many many many mothers; one child mothers, two children mothers and yesterday was the mother of six.  We started off with the basics of “how’s life?”  Simple enough.  She had brought in her two little ones, a set of twins.  I verified that she had 2 other children.  Oh no, she corrected me.  She stated that she had 4 others and I laughed and said that I couldn’t keep track anymore.  We talked about her husband and his job and moving states and then the conversation went to her.
“What about you?” I asked.  “You’re a doctor, aren’t you?”  She said, “Yes, but I have to study and it’s hard with these kids.”  I asked if she had to study for her Step 1, 2 or 3.  I have not been paying attention.  She stated that she had done all that and that she had to get her license renewed.  She talked about a program to get her current.  We talked about working and I asked her why she wanted so desperately to get back to it.  She talked about how she was fine being at home with the 4 kids, but when the twins came along, she said, she wasn’t sure what happened.  She said she was not prepared to have the self-need to go back to work.  She talked about wanting to make a difference.  I smiled and talked about my life and working and how I felt it would be nice to maybe not work.  She reminded me that I did make a difference for our community.  I told her that I had read about women wanting to do something for themselves as they got older.  She said, there was something within her.  We talked about finding our purpose in this life.  She talked about wearing her hijab during her 3rd year of medical school and soon after she got married.  She told me about all the questions that people asked of her.  She said that people thought her husband had asked her to wear it, which was far from the truth.  Of course, we talked about Islam and the current state of politics and women’s rights.  I told her that I could not see myself wear a hijab everyday.  She said that she felt the same way and that it takes getting used to.  She said, it still does.
So, there we were at lunch time, in my reception area having an easy conversation.  Her 3 year old daughter was quiet the whole time and very patient.  While we were finishing up our talk, the mom said, “it’s so good to have an adult conversation, once in a while.  I’ve missed it!”  The gal at my front desk laughed.  She’s a mom too.  I smiled.  Yet another factor of motherhood that I have to file away.  The gift of adult conversation!
It’s quite a statement when one has to find oneself and takes pleasure in conversing with another adult.  Things I take for granted.  So, here’s to the moms and the sacrifices they make everyday!
Best to you all,


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